Caring for a Loved One? Where is the Fun?

Where’s the fun? You probably don’t connect the day-to-day care for your loved one with fun. Caregiving is a lot of responsibility, tiring and stressful.

At some point you made the decision to provide your loved one with your loving care and the familiarity of living at home whether it be your home or theirs. You not only wanted to provide good care but to create those lasting memories for your loved one. For me, it was finding the fun in the sometimes-mundane days of caregiving. Thankfully, we found it.

During the last few months of my mom’s life my caregiving responsibilities had doubled. Both by husband and mom needed my, attention in addition to running the household, taking them to appointments, tending to their physical needs and providing some sort of distraction from the mundane, for them as well as myself.

Mom passed last October at the age of 85 years young, after being in hospice for only a day. Months later I can say the day to day “stuff” has faded from my memory. It is the conversations we had, the meals we ate, the friends we shared and the fun we had that replace those faded memories and give me joy.

So how do you fit in the “fun”?

What is it that you and your loved one like to do?

My mom loved to join me when I walked the family dog, Ameila. She would get on her mobility scooter and go along. Mom was quite social. She loved to talk with everyone, the young, old and every age in between. Our neighbors loved her, and she made them laugh every trip around the block. There was a big difference in her tolerance to her physical discomforts when she was socializing and when she was back at the house in bed.

There were so many activities that we did that brought laughs and good memories. Rusty and I joined the Moose Club with Mom. It was always a joy to see her hang out with her friends, enjoy a good meal and of course show off her daughter and son-in-law as Moms so often do.

Mom had come to live with me to help me with Rusty when he became sick. It was an adjustment but one that I don’t regret. She provided support, friendship, a listening ear, and the spark in our lives that we needed. Mom was born on the fourth of July. No more really needs to be said!

Mom decided one day that her and Rusty needed to test out their rides. She went all out preparing for what was going to be called, “The Great Race”. She bought biker looking t-shirts, trophies from the dollar store and set the date.

The starting and finishing line were marked and the race began. My daughter and son in law came to visit that day which gave us an extra set of eyes at the finish line. The joy on the faces of my husband and mom was priceless. Rusty crossed the finish line first and became the proud owner of the dollar store trophy. We talked and laughed about that race for weeks!

It doesn’t have to be a race down your neighborhood road. Fun can be found in the quiet moments. Spending time with your loved one going through boxes of photos or albums reminiscing about the many memories accumulated over the years.

A movie or game night with your loved one’s favorite snacks can bring an evening of relaxation, laughter, and memories.

Whatever you choose to bring in the fun, remember to take pictures. What a comfort those pictures have been to me this first year of mom’s passing.

Please comment and share what you and your loved one have done to create fun and memories!